Tuesday, May 19, 2015

The Years by Nicholas Delbanco


It isn't often that I find a novel to recommend to you that portrays characters our age in a way that's relevant, realistic, and insightful about aging and relationships. As a reader, I want to connect with characters and plot lines that I can relate to at this time of my life (age 71 as I write this) via beautifully crafted fiction.

The Years by Nicholas Delbanco is a splendid example of the kind of book I love to read. It's literary fiction, not a quick or mindless read. It's achingly honest about aging.

How did it happen, Lawrence wondered, that the person in the mirror was sprouting liver spots and wrinkles and hair in his nostrils and ears?

You'll invest some brain power in following the non-chronological sequencing. We meet Lawrence and Hermia when they re-meet in 2004 on a cruise ship after more than 40 years apart. He's 64; she's 63. The book flits back and forth from 2004 to their past. We learn how they met and fell in love in college, how they broke up and drifted apart, different relationships that shaped each of them as they journeyed through their lives, and the scars and regrets they carry with them.

They leaned toward each other, pressed against each other, and she wondered what her breasts would feel like if he kissed them as he used to, and what would happen next. She saw them in the mirror, two bent gray heads adjacent in the ornate gilt-framed glass, saw them touching lips and cheeks as though performing for the camera in some sort of time-lapse photograph, a present overlay upon the past.

Yes, we can anticipate that this chance meeting will lead to a renewed love connection, but the book is still not predictable. In the latter half of the book, we move forward through the time after they reconnect. There are surprises, which I won't reveal, and even the predictable parts are nuanced, never trite.

It's rare to find a novel that speaks realistically about love and aging and includes sex. The sex scenes are tender, slow to unfold, and not graphic. For example:

They had been passionate together the way the young are passionate, and nothing in her life before had readied her for how they fit together or how she, holding him, felt ... That passion was not spent. It was spent in the physical sense, of course; she could no longer manage, and he could not manage, the revels of the young ... But it was like The Tempest; it was everything restored, made whole, old treacheries forgiven and old arguments resolved. What had been lost was found. They were gentle together now, slow. It was strange to be so much in love with someone she had loved before and known so well and parted from and then spent more than forty years not knowing....

I found the writing masterful. I put post-its throughout my copy to remind me of pages I wanted to return to, and this photo shows what my book looks like now.

The Amazon ratings are mixed, and I'd love to know the age breakdown for those who loved and those who were bored by this novel. I suspect that the negative reviews were by younger readers or those who don't have patience for literary fiction that is slow to unfold. At our age, we know that life is slow to unfold, and we don't need to rush a book any more than we have to rush sex these days! I can't imagine readers in their sixties and beyond being unmoved by this novel.

If what I've written here intrigues you, I hope you'll read The Years and post your own comments.


Nicholas Delbanco, born 1942

Tuesday, May 05, 2015

Eroscillator: buzzing solo or with a partner

5/5/15: I just returned from a whirlwind 11-day trip to St. Louis and New York City, where I gave 7 presentations and one national TV interview (more about that when I can show you the video). Over and over, I found myself recommending the Eroscillator, especially when people asked about a vibrator that could be used for clitoral stimulation during partner sex without getting in the way of two bodies trying to be as close as possible.

The Eroscillator has several attachments, but I find myself using only the "finger tip" (or, as I call it, the "marshmallow") attachment pictured here, because it's wonderfully squishy while still being intensely strong. Here are the other attachments:


I wrote about the Eroscillator in 2007 here, but the place I really raved about it in all its glory was in my first senior sex book, Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex after Sixty, published in 2006. Here's what I wrote about it then


Toys Are Us: My Personal Vibrator History

I bought my first vibrator in my thirties at Macy’s: a “personal care” product for, uh, “massage.” The instructions said nothing about using it for sex, but, wink-wink, I knew.

For decades, I collected vibrators, trying to find the model that would do it for me. I don’t remember if I started with the Wahl (which I named Wally), with its many intriguing attachments, or the Hitachi Magic Wand (named Big Buzzy), but after buying the first one, I quickly bought another.

Over the next few years, I filled three nightstand drawers with vibrators of all sorts, both plug-in and battery-operated. I had vibrators in the shape of a penis, egg, wand, rabbit, and probably more I’m forgetting. I must have tried every type of vibrator on the planet, not because I love variety but because it was difficult to find the one for me. I've always preferred the strength of plug-in rather than battery-operated sex toys, and now that I’m older, I need the most intensity possible. A “light touch” is pleasant, but if my goal is orgasm, it’s got to be strong.

A decade ago, I cleaned out my drawers, threw out the thirty-year-old attachments that had deteriorated into flakes of plastic, discarded the toys I didn't really like, and kept only my favorites. I hated to throw this large collection in the trash, but I figured neither Goodwill nor my local consignment store would accept used sex toys, and they weren't old enough to donate to Good Vibrations antique vibrator museum.

I decided I didn't need all these extra toys anymore because I've discovered my favorite: the Eroscillator, an oscillating plug-in designed for clitoral stimulation. It feels great—intense and focused, with its smooth, rotating motion—and it is easy to hold, easy to aim, and easy to adjust intensity during the act. A twelve-foot-long cord makes it work in hotel rooms, where the outlet might be half a wall away. Best of all, the long, slim handle and small vibrating part make it simple and comfortable to use with a partner. It’s expensive—$120 to almost $200*, depending on attachments—but worth every penny.

Because the Eroscillator is endorsed by Dr. Ruth Westheimer and her picture is on the box, I named mine “Dr. Ruth.”


Electrifying Sex: Using Sex Toys with a Partner

At some point after Robert and I became sexual, I asked if he’d be open to using a vibrator with me. His response was a definitive, absolute, “No! I don’t want a machine in the middle of our lovemaking!” He had had no experience with what he called “appliances,” and they didn't fit with his feelings about lovemaking as natural and spiritual. When I showed him my vibrator, it seemed like a noisy, mechanical thing.

Robert would make me come with his fingers before or after intercourse—I couldn't come during intercourse at all. My sensations just weren't strong enough anymore to bring me over the top unless I had really strong, direct, and focused clitoral stimulation. He kept asking if there was anything he could do during intercourse so that I could come that way, and my answer was always, “Only if we use a vibrator at the same time.”

Finally, he agreed to try it. The ease of giving me an orgasm and the intensity of my pleasure won him over. We've used it ever since, and it’s part of our love play. Now Robert will say in the middle of sex, “Let’s get my buddy, Dr. Ruth!”

- from Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex after Sixty (2006)

* 2006 prices. Now $140 to $250.

Note: I kept this excerpt in present tense although some crucial things have changed:
1.  I lost Robert to cancer in 2008, but I still love remembering precious moments like these, and I couldn't bear to shift the ending of this excerpt to past tense. 
2. I now have several favorite vibrators. The Eroscillator is still in the top four for solo sex and top two for partner sex!


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Sunday, May 03, 2015

#FreeSexAdvice in New York City with Francisco Ramirez


I had the delightful experience of sharing Francisco Ramirez's #FreeSexAdvice in Union Square, NYC. If you're not familiar with Francisco's events, he sets up two chairs in a park along with a sign offering free advice about sex, relationships, and dating. Then he sits down and waits for people to join him and ask their questions.

Yesterday -- Saturday, May 2, 2015 -- he brought a third chair. A chair for me. We had decided to take advantage of my visit to New York to offer park visitors a sex educator duo. We set up and Francisco tweeted that we were ready.

I thought I knew what to expect, but I was surprised and thrilled that people would actually sit down in the chair and, with very little prompting, start confiding their sexual concerns, stories, and questions. They shared confidences that their partners (if they had partners) didn't even know. We heard these types of stories, among others:

  • I love my partner but we don't live close enough to see each other regularly. I'm cheating when we're apart, feel guilty about it and keep promising "this is the last time," but I can't seem to stop.

  • I was brought up in a church that condemns same-sex relationships. I know I'm a lesbian and I want a wife. But I love my religion!

  • Will masturbating to x-rated man-woman pornography make me a pedophile? I've heard that porn does that.

  • I live with a younger man. It was okay at first, but now it's just blow jobs and giving him money. I don't leave him because I'm afraid of being lonely.

  • I don't have much trouble finding people for hook-ups, but I'd like a real relationship. Should I be pickier?
Often people talked to us for 15 minutes, getting deeper into their stories, as Francisco and I asked questions to clarify the issues and offered advice. Sometimes the people arrived at revelations and conclusions that they hadn't expected, and after they left, Francisco and I turned to each other and said, "We really helped someone just now." It was deeply satisfying to how good information and a new perspective could change people!

Many thanks to Francisco for including me in this great adventure. We've already agreed that we'll do it again next time I'm in New York.





Wednesday, April 29, 2015

The New, Rechargeable Magic Wand!



If you read my reviews, you know that I love the Magic Wand. For decades (yes, decades, with a couple of improvements along the way), it has been the King of Vibrators.

Now there's a new king in town: the Magic Wand Rechargeable. It has everything we loved about the Original Magic Wand (reviewed here) plus 4 new attributes that make it the ideal sex tool for those of us who need really strong vibrations:


  • It's rechargeable! No need to look for an outlet near the bed or get tangled in cords -- just charge it ahead of time, and it's usable cord-free.

  • Silicone head! The silicone covering of the head is not only more body-safe than the previous wand, it's softer, a little cushy, which feels really good.    

  • 4 Speeds! Instead of the previous two speeds (high and turbo high), we have four choices. The lowest speed is rumbly and great for warm-up (for most of us), or if you don't need super-strong, the first two speeds might be all you need. Turbo users can turn it up from level 1 to higher, extra high, or unbelievably high. According to Good Vibrations, here's a comparison of intensity levels:

  • Original Magic Wand: 1- 5000rpms (vibrations/ minute); 2- 6000rpms 
  • Rechargeable Magic Wand: 1- 2,700rpms; 2- 3,800rpms; 3- 5,400rpms; 4- 6,300rpms

  • Patterns. I don't really care about patterns -- just give me strong, steady vibrations, thank you. But for those of you who like to experiment with patterns, there are four of them.
Being so strong, it has to be large to house the motor. Like previous iterations, this Magic Wand is big (13" long with a tennis-ball sized head) and heavy -- caution if you have arthritic wrists. On the other hand, it works so well that you'll likely reach your goal in a very short time, compared to other sex toys!

The silicone head cover is not removable, so you have to be careful cleaning it -- just wipe it clean.

I'm sorry to tell you that the Magic Wand Rechargeable's price tag -- $124.95 -- is about double the old one. It's priced in line with other rechargeable vibrators and well worth the money. (Please don't be duped into thinking you can get this cheaper on Amazon. The cheap ones may be labeled Magic Wand, but they're not -- they're knock-offs with inferior materials and design, and just try to get a refund when they overheat or stop working. Don't risk it, seriously.)

I'm shouting, I'm singing, I'm dancing, I'm loving this new Magic Wand! Thank you, Good Vibrations, for gifting me the Magic Wand Rechargeable in exchange for an honest review.

Please note: The Magic Wand Rechargeable is so new that it won't be available until May 18. Good Vibrations is taking pre-orders, and I do advise you to get your order in early because I know they'll run out quickly. This is too good a sex toy to sit on the shelves.

(Originally published 4/13/15)




Men, you'll love the Pulse!




 4/29/15 update: I'm moving up this review from March 2014 to make it easy to find because I keep talking about it in my presentations! There is an even newer version of this product -- The Pulse II -- which I'll review soon. Enjoy!

Presenting... The Pulse, a pulsing, oscillating, amazing vibrator for men that does not require an erection for his pleasure!

That's right -- unlike other vibrating "sleeves," the penis does not have to be hard to start enjoying it. Spread open the flexible flaps, rest your penis in it, turn it on, and enjoy the sensations.

The fabulous folks at Smitten Kitten first showed me this vibrator, praising its qualities. The Pulse works for men of all ages, and it's especially splendid for pleasuring an older man. If you get erections erratically, this toy will make you hard. If erections are not in the picture, you'll still feel tremendous sexual pleasure.

Of course I had to get some men of our age to test the Pulse for us. You can imagine how easy it was to get three volunteers! These men all live in different places, and I wanted to give them each plenty of time to play and experiment, so I arranged with Hot Octopuss*, the British manufacturer of the Pulse, to send one product, and the dear folks at Smitten Kitten sent two more.

(* I know, the Hot Octopuss website looks like it's relevant only if you're 20 years old and heavily tattooed, but really, the product is perfect for senior men.)

Here's what my Pulse-pleasured guys told me:

Richard:
I'm a man, almost 58, who has had a number of sexual issues going back more than 8 years. Most of my issues -- temporary impotence, lack of sensation, pain with orgasm -- are because I'm a prostate cancer survivor who was treated surgically. Recently I've been able to resolve many of these issues. 

Given my past challenges, I've haven't taken a lot of time to explore penile sex toys beyond cock rings and therapeutic penis pumps. I wasn't sure what a toy could do for me anyway. But that changed with the Pulse! While not a traditional sleeve toy, it does deliver vibratory sensations to the penis. It has a number of speeds and intensities that are easily set by a lighted button. 

It has a unique feature where some of the vibrations are concentrated in a circular section that delivers an extra boost to the highly sensitive underside of the head of the penis. For me, it’s been a great erection builder. I've enjoyed taking the time to play and experiment with the various settings of intensity. 

Because I still have some limited sensation, I've not been able to reach orgasm using the Pulse exclusively. But it is a very pleasurable toy and has warmed me up to some very nice plateaus. It's made of hard plastic and high-grade non-toxic silicone. It can be used with or without lubricant, but is more effective as a "stroker" toy when used with lubricant. It's easily cleaned with a damp cloth.

Paul:
The Pulse is one toy that’s worth the money! . It has easy-to-use controls, fits nicely in the hand and has a coin-like, raised bump inside at just the right place. It feels wonderful! 

On the low setting, with a little water-based lube, this thing got me hard in no time. And this was after I’d had sex and a great orgasm earlier in the day. I’m over 50, so that’s saying a lot. The next day, this thing had me orgasming in minutes. 

Watch out if you get lube on the hand you’re holding it with though -- it can get slippery. It performs well, but does take a couple minutes to clean due to the ribs inside. A quick wipe with soap and water does the trick -- it can’t be submerged.

This is the only criticism I have: It comes with a USB charger cord but without an adapter to plug into a wall outlet. Fortunately I had one, and you can pick one up cheap. 

David M. Pittle, Ph.D:
Most men’s sex toys seem to be some form of sleeve to simulate a vagina. The Pulse is different. Like the sleeves, it is a tube for the penis to enter, but it is open at the top with wings that bend out, so the penis can be simply laid into the tube on top of the strongest point of vibration. This creates the greatest sensations on the most sensitive part of the penis, the frenulum. 

This is an amazingly versatile sex toy. My experience with it was “five stars.” That puts it right up there with the Hitachi Magic Wand.
I was skeptical about the battery because battery toys that are powerful run down fairly rapidly. Ten or fifteen minutes of use and they need recharging. Not the case with the Pulse. In a tribute to battery engineers, the Pulse ran for four sessions of 15 to 20 minutes and was still going strong. 

This is a great product. The only criticism I have is that it can’t be immersed in water. The water will get into the battery compartment. That is somewhat minor, but given the price, a waterproof charging system would have been nice. 

(Sex therapist David Pittle reviews male sex toys for us. Read his other reviews here.)


Note from Joan:
The Pulse is amazing for men. It claims that the outer part also pleasures a woman partner for use by a couple together.

In my case, not so. The inside part that holds the penis is comfortable and stimulating for him, but the outside part that supposedly can stimulate the clitoris is mostly hard plastic and doesn't vibrate much, not the least bit sexy for me. Of course, your experience may vary, and another woman reported getting plenty of pleasure from it.

My recommendation is to let the man use this on his own -- he'll love it, and he deserves a superb sex toy of his own!

See more about how the Pulse works here.

I hope you'll join me in thanking Smitten Kitten for the sample products by ordering from them (click here) if you're in the U.S. If you're ordering from another country, you can see where it's available by clicking here.



Tuesday, April 07, 2015

Private Gym: Kegels for men -- with penis weights!

I've stressed the importance of pelvic floor (AKA Kegel) exercises for both male and female anatomies, but I admit that I haven't given as much focus to male bodies. Now there's a complete exercise program for male pelvic muscle training -- Private Gym -- including weight training for the penis!

Stronger pelvic muscles give you more blood flow to the penis, stronger and more rigid erections, better urinary and rectal control, and stronger orgasms and ejaculatory force. Like any other muscles, they respond to strength training. Private Gym offers both a "basic" ($59.99) and a "complete" ($99.99) training program, both with free shipping.

Both include a DVD, an instruction manual, and a book, Male Pelvic Fitness: Optimizing Sexual & Urinary Health. The book presents a ton of anatomical and sexual function information, plus cool factoids that you can throw out at a sex-positive dinner party, such as what "phallocarps" are and which animal ejaculates 4-5 gallons of semen.

This program lets you learn and practice the step-by-stem program with a follow-along DVD. It's very well done, with clear illustrations and explanations. (I would have preferred it without the background music, though, which I found repetitive and distracting.)

The difference between the programs? The basic gives you a 4-week, progressive, step-by-step program.  It's good, especially for pelvic floor training beginners.

However, I recommend the complete program, which includes the basic plus additional exercises and 4 weeks of resistance training, which you do with the included weights. (Only the complete program includes the weights.)

Yes, weights. You put the weighted ring on your penis and perform the squeeze-release exercises (both slow and rapid) along with the DVD. As your pelvic muscles strengthen, you can add the additional weight which attaches magnetically. You'll need a rigid erection (with or without medication) in order to use the weights. (You don't need a rigid erection for the basic program.)

I know, penis weights may seem like a gimmick. But they're not, I assure you. Don't take my word for it -- here's what my 57-year-old male tester had to say:

It’s great. It takes you through the things you can do to build up those muscles. This program with your choice of a male or female voice tells you exactly how, when, and for how long, and gives you a signal that makes it so much easier. It’s like the reason you hire a fitness trainer – sure, you can lift weights on your own, but a trainer helps you.

 The book is great because it talks about why you’re doing this and gives background information, in easy to understand terms.  

When you get more advanced, you can use the weight system. The weights are comfortable, easy to slip on, and they work.  

The whole program is well thought out, and very easy and comfortable to use. It’s a great system. I think it would benefit just about anybody. 

I was having trouble with getting erections. Using this program, my erections became as firm on their own as when I was using Viagra! 

Thank you, Private Gym, for sending me this program for my tester and me to review. This is a powerful tool, especially the complete program, because the weights can make a huge difference.

Because the Private Gym folks know how this program will benefit our age group, they are offering readers of this blog a whopping 25% discount. Just type the coupon code Joan25 in the coupon box when you order. I hope you try it. Stick with the program and let us know how it goes.






Monday, April 06, 2015

Palm Power: New favorite vibrator!



 4/29/15 update: I'm moving up this review from June 2014 to make it easy to find because I keep talking about it in my presentations!  

Drum roll, please: Introducing the Palm Power, a lightweight, ergonomically designed product that packs so much power into a small, silicone topped vibrator that it jumped to #1 on my personal Hit Parade the first time I used it. And the second time. And... you get the picture.

Let me back up. If I were inventing a vibrator that would be perfect for me, at age 70, and for most of you, dear readers over 50, it would have these qualities:
  • Really strong.
  • Body-safe materials.
  • Really strong.
  • Lightweight and ergonomic -- easy to hold with arthritic wrists for as long as it takes.
  • Really strong.
  • Easy to power on and turn up the intensity, even when fingers and vibrator are well lubed.
  • Really strong.
  • Difficult or impossible to inadvertently decrease intensity, switch to unwanted patterns, or turn off by mistake. (Hate it when that happens!)
  • Really strong.
  • Won't die, run out of charge, or otherwise kill the buzz (literally and figuratively) for as long as it takes.
  • Really strong.

Until last week, the Magic Wand -- my favorite since the 1970s -- was the clear winner, with all but one of the qualities above. But you know that the Magic Wand, as stellar as it is in every other category, is far from "lightweight." It's huge and heavy, but we put up with that because of its world class performance. (And, frankly, it doesn't take very long to reach our goal with the Magic Wand, so the monster heft of it does no real damage.)

The Palm Power has taken over as my favorite vibrator because it has all the qualities in my list. All of them, including lightweight. Best of all, as small as it is, the vibrations are super strong, strong, STRONG!

Using the Palm Power is simple. Plug it in (it comes with an assortment of plugs for different countries), press the button to turn it on. The longer you hold the button pressed in, the higher the intensity climbs! Release when you get the intensity where you want it, and it will stay there! (Sorry for all the exclamation marks, but I wish all vibrators worked like this.)  Press and release quickly to turn it off. That's it.


The head of the vibrator is a silicone cap that pulls off easily for cleaning or for trying a different attachment. To put it on, line up the "T" inside the cap with the "T" on the head, and it snaps right on. (I couldn't get a clear photo of the "T," sorry.)

I received two of the four possible attachments -- one with narrow "ears" and one with widely spaced "ears."

You can use the main cap and/or these attachments for honest-to-goodness massage, and the "ears" are also fun for penis stimulation. (Try the narrow ears on his frenulum, that sensitive, nerve-rich area where the glans meets the shaft on the underside of the penis.)

There are two more attachments that I did not receive -- one turns the Palm Power into a rabbit (clitoral and vaginal stimulation) and the other is designed for G-spot stimulation.

6/267/14 update: I've tested the additional attachments. The "rabbit" doesn't do much for me, but I was surprised to discover that I really like the G-spotter! Here's why:

  1. It fits so snugly that the Palm Power becomes hands-free (!)
  2. The strongest vibrations are concentrated on the clitoris (where the cap presses), with more subdued vibrations right against the G-spot (where the internal part presses)
  3. You can play with tapping it, rocking it, or just letting it sit and vibrate. Yummy. 


The Palm Power does have some cons, but I'll overlook them because of all the pros:

  • It has to be plugged in while in use. (It comes with a nice, long cord, though, so you don't have to station yourself near the wall socket.)
  • Only the silicone cap can be washed -- the rest has to be wiped down without getting it wet. Be careful with the lube.

Hmmn, I think those are the only cons. It's a fabulous product!

Thank you, The Smitten Kitten, for introducing me to the Palm Power and sending me my new best buddy in return for an honest review.


Joan pretends the Palm Power is a microphone

Joan's Upcoming Events


I'd love to meet you in person! As events are scheduled, I'll post them here.

If you are interested in having me speak at your event or to your organization, please email me. See more information about my aging and sexuality talks here. (I also speak about fitness -- click here.)





Saturday, April 25, 2015 1:00-2:30 pm, Presentation and Discussion with Joan Price on Sexuality and Aging at Central Reform Congregation, 5020 Waterman Blvd,  St.Louis,Mo 63108, corner of Waterman and Kingshighway. RSVP by emailing Kassi Corley. Sponsored by Sex Positive St. Louis (SEX+STL), a community resource for people in the St. Louis metro area.



joanpricebannerSunday, April 26, 2015, 9:45-10:45 am, Let’s Talk about (Senior) Sex! The Ethical Society of St. Louis, 9001 Clayton Rd., Saint Louis, MO 63117-1003.  Joan Price, author of the new The Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50: How to Maintain – or Regain! – a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life, shares tips and new information to put a zing in your sex life, partnered or solo. Yes, there are challenges to satisfying sex after 50, 60, 70 and beyond – but for every problem, there is a solution -- with the right information, creativity, and a sense of humor. Sponsored by Sex Positive St. Louis (SEX+STL), a community resource for people in the St. Louis metro area.


Monday, April 27, 2015, 6-8 pm, Brown Lounge, George Warren Brown School of Social Work, Washington University in St. Louis, MO,  Joan Price talks to students and AASECT members about senior sex. Sponsored by Sex Positive St. Louis (SEX+STL), a community resource for people in the St. Louis metro area.


Senior-Planet-Exploration-Center-Interior
Wednesday, April 29, 2015, 6-7:30 pm, Senior Sex: The 8 Questions You Wish You Could Ask at Senior Planet, 127 W 25th St, New York, NY 10001, between 5th and 6th Ave. Sex at our age can be the best of our lives, if you can adapt, accept, and explore what works for you. It can be challenging: health issues, a solo life, the predictable sex that comes with long marriages, discomfort with your changing bodies, dating at our age - all these and more can get in the way of pleasurable sex. In this talk, Joan Price answers  the 8 most frequently asked questions about senior sex and our aging bodies: How can I spice up my sex life? What's the point if I'm never in the mood? How can we speed things up? And other questions you've always wanted to ask. Free, reservation required here.



Saturday, May 2, 2015, 4-6 pm, Free Sex Advice in the Park, SW corner of Union Square Park, closest to 14th and Union Square W, New York City, with Francisco Ramirez and Joan Price. Bring your questions, get answers! No charge, no judgments, just two lively sex educators answering your burning questions.



Sunday, May 3, 2015, 6-8 pm, Let’s Talk about Senior Sex at Pleasure Chest Upper East Side, 1150 2nd Ave, New York, NY 10065. Yes, sex after 50, 60, 70 and beyond has its challenges, but it can also be hot and joyful. Joan Price, senior sex expert and author of the new Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50: How to Maintain – or Regain! – a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life, will answer your questions and address your concerns. Take home new tools, techniques, and attitudes to help you experience sizzling and satisfying sex --with or without a partner! If you are over 50--or you plan to be--here’s what you want to know. (All genders & orientations welcome.) Free!


June 2015: Two free sex and aging workshops with Joan Price at Smitten Kitten, 3010 Lyndale Ave S., Minneapolis, MN 55408, 612-721-6088. Schedule and dates coming soon.


Woodhull's Sexual Freedom Summit 2015August 13-16, 2015: Woodhull’s Sexual Freedom Summit in Alexandria, VA. The Sexual Freedom Summit features human rights activists, sexuality educators and researchers, professionals from the legal and medical fields, authors, sexual freedom movement leaders and organizational partners all working toward the time when sexual freedom is fully recognized as a fundamental human right. Joan presents  "Let’s Talk about Senior Sex!" on Saturday, 8/15.


September 8-9, 2015: Joan Price is the keynote speaker for the inaugural conference Let’s Talk About Sex at the Pullman Melbourne on the Park, 192 Wellington Parade, Melbourne VIC 3002,  Australia. Sponsored by Alzheimer’s Australia Vic and Council of the Aged. The inaugural Let’s Talk About Sex Conference aims to challenge many of the assumptions, taboos and stereotypes when it comes to older people and sexual intimacy. The failure to acknowledge sexuality and ageing has left many older people deprived of their right to a satisfying and fulfilling sex life.



(schedule updated April 18, 2015)





TV, Internet interviews: Online Now


Huffington Post Live panel: How Women Post-50 Embrace Their Bare Sexuality, June 3, 2014.


Huffington Post Live panel: Great Sex after 50


Huffington Post Live panel: How old is too old for sex?






Have More Sex And Improve Your Sexless Marriage With These Tips from Joan Price via Huffington Post. This was part of a panel discussion that aired live on April 2, 2013.





Sex Out Loud with Tristan Taormino, Mar. 1, 2013. Tristen and Joan discuss sex and aging, the challenges of menopause, losing a partner, erotica, and much more. Listen here.


Savage Love podcast with Dan Savage, Feb. 26, 2013. Dan and Joan discuss advice for a woman whose aging and relationship challenges stop her from enjoying sex with her husband. Listen here.



KRON 4 TV's Henry Tenenbaum interviews Joan about how bodies, sex, and libido change, and asks Joan a dating question.





Ageless Sexuality. Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross interview Joan Price about how sex changes as you age, what we can look forward to, and making this a time for breaking rules and discovering your own sexual fluidity. Hear the lively and outrageous podcast here


Morning Blend on TODAY'S TMJ4, Milwaukee, October 3, 2011.  View the interview here.


 "Sex After 60" on the Colin McEnroe Show on NPR's WNPR, Connecticut, with guests Joan Price and Dr. Rafael Wurzel. Hear the podcast here.




Recently completed events:


Friday, March 27 - Sunday, March 29, 2015Elders Panel: “How Did We Get Here?" CatalystCon East, Hilton Crystal City Hotel, Arlington, VA, moderated by Joan Price. Carol Queen, Robert Morgan Lawrence, and Terri Clark are lively and influential sex educators who have been activists for sexual expression and acceptance since the sixties and seventies. They’ll discuss these topics and more:
  • How we were expected to behave and hide when we were young, and what happened to those who didn’t; 
  • What sexual awareness/ activism was like in the sixties and seventies; 
  • Why the sexual liberation and feminist movements were so important then and still are now; 
  • Why the younger generation(s) need to understand what our pioneers accomplished for us; 
  • What generational riffs we see now and how we can bridge the gap together. 
  • Learn about the history behind your sexual liberation, which would not have happened without the trailblazing efforts of people like our panelists.

Sunday, March 15, 2015, 2:30-3:30 pm:  "Never Too Late to Date" at the Tucson Festival of Books, Student Union, Catalina room. Newly single and terrified of dating again? Afraid you forgot how to flirt? Not looking forward to going to a bar and getting picked up (or picking up) someone? Wondering whether you should try online dating, or can you still put a personal ad in the local rag?Ann Anderson Evans, author of Daring to Date Again, and Joan Price, author of Naked at Our Age and The Ultimate Guide to Sex after Fifty, offer advice, insights and personal stories for people young and old looking to rekindle their love lives.


Tuesday, February 3, 2015, 7 pm: Valentine's Day Lovefest with Joan Price at Copperfield's Books, 138 North Main Street, Sebastopol, CA 95472. Joan reads excerpts from The Ultimate Guide to Sex After Fifty and sends you home with tips you can use right now to enhance your sexual pleasure, partnered or solo.


Thursday, February 5, 2015, 6:30 pm: Ultimate Guide to Sex After Fifty Book Party at Good Vibrations, 1620 Polk Street, San Francisco, CA 94109. Joan reads excerpts from The Ultimate Guide to Sex After Fifty. Come meet Joan in person and learn how to enjoy your sexuality for the rest of your life!


Friday, February 6, 2015, 7 pm: Joan Price at Book Passage, 51 Tamal Vista Blvd, Corte Madera, CA 94925. “Sex changes with aging, but for every problem, there is a solution,” says Joan Price, “senior sexpert” for the over-fifty population. The Ultimate Guide to Sex After Fifty delivers solid, practical information in a friendly, accessible style to help all genders and orientations, partnered or unpartnered, enjoy their sexuality for the rest of their lives. View Book Passage's Jan-Feb 2015 newsletter here.



Sunday, 2/15, 3-5 pm: Let’s Talk about (Senior) Sex! at Gaia’s Garden, 1899 Mendocino Avenue, Santa Rosa, CA 95401, winner of best vegetarian restaurant in Sonoma County from the North Bay Bohemian for four years in a row. Joan Price, author of the new The Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50: How to Maintain – or Regain! – a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life, shares tips and new information to put a zing in your sex life, partnered or solo. Yes, there are challenges to satisfying sex after 50, 60, 70 and beyond – but for every problem, there is a solution -- with the right information, creativity, and a sense of humor. No charge for Joan’s talk, but Gaia’s Garden requests $5 minimum in purchases: have lunch before or dinner afterwards, or enjoy desserts, wine, beer, coffee, tea, cacao, and more. Joan’s books will be available for sale before and after her talk. Bring your questions!


Sunday, October 5, 2014, 10:30 am. Joan Price shares “The Five Biggest Myths about Sex and Aging” at the Oakmont Symposium, East Recreation Center, 7902 Oakmont Drive, Santa Rosa, CA. Open to Oakmont residents and invited guests. Audio of this presentation available here.


Friday, October 17 - Sunday, October 19, 2014free sex and aging workshops with Joan Price at Smitten Kitten, 3010 Lyndale Ave S., Minneapolis, MN 55408, 612-721-6088.
  • Fri, Oct. 17, 7:00 - 8:30 pm,  Ask Me, I’ll Tell You: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex.
  • Sat, Oct 18, 7:00 - 8:30 pm, Lusting, Dating and Mating for all ages! This one is not just for the over-50 crowd. Mixer follows!
  • Sun, Oct 19, 6:30 - 8:30 pm, Talking About Senior Sex (a presentation for medical professionals).



Thursday, Sept. 11 - Sunday, Sept. 14, 2014CatalystCon West at Westin Los Angeles Airport, 5400 West Century Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90045. In Senior Sex: Lusting, Dating, and Mating, Joan Price shares what Boomers, seniors, and elders tell and ask her. She interweaves her own personal stories, from finding love in later life, to dealing with grief, learning how to date all over again, and re-emerging as a sexual being. For levity, Joan shares some of the oddest dating stories she’s been told. You don’t have to be a senior to learn from and enjoy this presentation!


Sunday, Sept. 14, 6-8 pm: The 5 Biggest Myths about Sex and Aging at The Pleasure Chest LA, 7733 Santa Monica Blvd, West Hollywood, CA 90046. Joan Price, author of Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex, shatters the myths and shares the most common questions that Boomers, seniors, and elders ask her. She’ll answer those questions, too—in the candid, upbeat manner that led the media to dub her “senior sexpert.” Free!


Friday, Sept. 19 - Saturday, Sept. 20, 2014, 4th Annual Sexuality, Intimacy & Aging Conference at Widener University, Chester, PA. In Sure, Ask Me Anything: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex, Joan Price shares the questions that Boomers, seniors, and elders ask her. A medical issue that interferes with sexual enjoyment? Boredom with a partner? Dating woes? How to choose sex toys that work with arthritic wrists and slow arousal? Most questions are deeply moving pleas for help about issues that often are not shared with their doctors, therapists, or even life partners. Conference presented by the  Sexuality and Aging Consortium.


Saturday, Sept. 20, 2014, 7-10 pmHow the Heck Do I Date at This Age? at BSA, 1 Scout Way, Doylestown PA 18901. Lusting, dating and mating, OH MY! Whether you’re widowed, divorced, recently unpartnered, or a longtime single, you’ll find this interactive workshop illuminating and fun, and you’ll get to find out how other singles over 50 meet and mate (or try to). Singles only, all genders and orientations welcome. Bring a notebook, a printout of your online profile if you have one, your questions, and a sense of humor. Free gifts for all attendees! $40, or bring a friend for $60 total. Presented by Susan Duval Seminars. Registration and more info here.


Sunday, Sept. 21, 2014, 2-5 pmSex after 50! A Women's Workshop at BSA, 1 Scout Way, Doylestown PA 18901. Yes, we all want it! Sex after age 50, 60, 70 and beyond has its challenges, but it can be SIZZLING and satisfying when you have the right information and strategies. We'll address the challenges and celebrate the joys, sharing experiences and learning from each other in a spirit of candor, acceptance, safety, creativity, and humor. Take home new tools, techniques, and attitudes for satisfying, joyful sex. In addition, Joan will share the 5 Biggest Myths about Sex and Aging, sharing the most common questions that people ask her. She’ll answer her answers in the candid, upbeat manner that led the media to dub her the “Senior Sexpert”! Learn about favorite sex toys for women our age -- Joan has tested them all! Women only, all orientations welcome. Free gifts for all. Bring a notebook, your questions, a spirit of curiosity, and a sense of humor.  $40, or bring a friend for $60 total. Presented by Susan Duval Seminars. Registration and more info here.

Sunday, August 3, 2014, 1:00 - 4:00 pm, How the Heck Do I Date at This Age? in Sebastopol, CA. You’re ready to connect for dating, sex, love, companionship – but dating as a senior feels awkward and weird. What are the guidelines? How do you navigate online dating, write a cool profile, avoid the pitfalls, and evade the creeps and weirdos? When do you bring up safer sex, your personal sexual issues, or sex at all? Whether you’re widowed, divorced, or a longtime single, you’ll find this interactive workshop illuminating and fun, and you’ll get to find out how other single seniors meet and mate (or try to). All genders and orientations welcome. Free gifts: Blossom Organics and Überlube lubricants, condoms, and more. Bring a notebook, a printout of your online profile if you have one, your questions, and a sense of humor. Bonus hour 4:00 - 5:00: Joan will help you revise your online dating profile. Cost: $40 prepaid by check or PayPal by July 28; $45 July 29-Aug 2.  Location is a private home in Sebastopol -- you'll get the address after you preregister.

Sunday, August 10, 2014, 1:00 - 4:00 pm, Women’s Workshop: Sex after 50 in Sebastopol, CA. Yes, sex after age 50, 60, 70 and beyond has its challenges, but it can be sizzling and satisfying when you have the right information and strategies. We'll address the challenges and celebrate the joys, sharing experiences and learning from each other in a spirit of candor, acceptance, safety, creativity, and humor. Take home new tools, techniques, and attitudes for satisfying, joyful sex—with or without a partner. Learn about favorite sex toys for women our age – Joan has tested them all! Women only, all orientations welcome. Free gifts: Blossom Organics and Überlube lubricants, and more. Bring a notebook, your questions, a spirit of curiosity, and a sense of humor. Bonus hour 4:00 - 5:00: Joan will be available for private consultations. Cost: $40 prepaid by check or PayPal by Aug. 4; $45 Aug. 5 - 9. Location is a private home in Sebastopol -- you'll get the address after you preregister.


Thursday, June 19 - Saturday, June 21, 2014free sex and aging workshops with Joan Price at Smitten Kitten, 3010 Lyndale Ave S., Minneapolis, MN 55408, 612-721-6088. Schedule:
  • Thurs., June 19th, 6:30 - 8:30 pm, Talking About Senior Sex (a presentation for medical professionals)
  • Fri., June 20th, 6:30 - 8:30 pm, Ask Me, I’ll Tell You: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex
  • Sat., June 21st, 6:30 - 8:30 pm, Lusting, Dating and Mating After Fifty

April 11-13, 2014Full Circle - the Art & Heart of Aging, a weekend festival in Burlington, VT. Full Circle is all about busting wide open the myths about aging and celebrating the journey to elderhood. The festival includes dance, theatre, art, comedy, music, and film as well as physical activities and interactive experiences, discussions, and workshops. .


April 23, 2014, Pleasure Chest New York - Upper East Side, 1150 2nd Ave, NY, NY 10065,  6-8 pm. Sex after 50 with Joan Price. Yes, sex after 50 has its challenges, but it can also be hot and joyful. We'll celebrate the joys and tackle the problems of older-age sexuality, sharing experiences and learning from each other in a spirit of candor, acceptance, and plenty of humor. Take home new tools, techniques, and attitudes to help you experience sizzling and satisfying sex --with or without a partner! If you are 50 and above--or you plan to be--here’s everything you wanted to know. (All genders &orientations welcome.) Free!

November 1, 2013, "Getting Your Mojo Back: Sex Tips for Women over 50." Is your sex life dull, predictable, unsatisfying, nonexistent? Yes, sex after fifty has its challenges, but it can also sizzle. Joan Price offers new information, tools, and tips that help women over fifty maintain or regain a healthy, satisfying sex life – with or without a partner.presented by Joan Price and Remi Newman, Women's Night Out, Kaiser Permanente, 401 Bicentennial Way, Santa Rosa, CA Medical Building East, Conference Rooms E-3, E-4, E-5.


Nov. 8, 2013, 7 - 9 pm,  How the Heck Do I Date at This Age? at Smitten Kitten, 3010 Lyndale Ave S., Minneapolis, MN 55408, (612) 721-6088. You’re ready to connect for dating, sex, love, companionship – but dating at our age feels awkward and downright weird. What are the guidelines? Joan Price helps you navigate online dating, evade the creeps and weirdos, and avoid the pitfalls that send potential dates running in the other direction. When do you bring up safer sex, your personal sexual issues, or sex at all? Whether you’re newly solo or a longtime single, you’ll find this interactive workshop illuminating and fun, and you’ll get to find out how other single Boomers and seniors meet and mate (or try to). All genders and orientations welcome; sense of humor helpful. Free!

Nov. 10, 2013, 2-4 pm, Ask Me, I'll Tell You: Talking Out Loud about Sex and Aging, at Smitten Kitten, 3010 Lyndale Ave S., Minneapolis, MN 55408, (612) 721-6088. We’re talking about senior sex—the challenges, the pleasures, and all the questions we didn't think we could ask out loud. What arouses us now, when the old ways aren't working like they used to? What do we wish we understood and could communicate better about our changing bodies and responses? How do we spice up our sexual repertoire? What if we don't have a partner? What if we don't feel desire for sex anymore? In this eye opening, interactive, mixed-gender workshop, you’ll get to voice your questions and get answers. Joan Price guides the conversation and discovery, and offers tips for putting the zest back into later-life sexuality. For singles and couples, all genders and orientations. Free!


November 15, 2013, 8:30 pm. Naughty November Nights: An Erotic Literary Soiree. Join us for an evening of erotic poems and stories by local authors. Get ready to be teased, titillated and tempted.  Gaia’s Garden, 1899 Mendocino Avenue, Santa Rosa. Featuring Joan Price, Jennie Orvino, Bill Noble, Ruth Hoppe, Pink Lady, Ray Hoey, Michael Larrain, Arnoldo Levine, Daingerous Dollie, Feral Fox, and a special musical performance by Violet Streak.


September 27- 29, 2013, “The 5 Biggest Myths about Sex and Aging” at CatalystCon West at the Warner Center Marriott, 21850 Oxnard Street, Woodland Hills, CA 91367. Joan Price shatters the myths and shares the most common questions that Boomers, seniors, and elders ask her. Joan shares the concerns that older adults raise about their changing sexuality, the challenges that they face, and the misconceptions that hamper their sexual enjoyment. Throughout the session, you’ll learn tips and strategies for working with older adults and ways to address this age group about their sexual issues.

June 8, 2013, 3:30-5:30, "Sex and Aging Out Loud" at the annual conference of American Association of Sexuality Educators Counselors & Therapists (AASECT), Hilton Miami Downtown, Miami, Florida. Presenter: Joan Price, MA. This session focuses on the challenges, delights, and shudders that come with writing and speaking about “senior sex.” Participants will discuss concerns that Boomers, seniors, and elders raise about their changing sexuality: the questions they ask, the challenges they face, and the misconceptions that hamper their sexual enjoyment. Throughout the workshop the presenter will offer tips and strategies for older adults and ways to address this age group about their sexual issues.


June 18, 2013, 11 am - 12:30 pm, Joan Price talks about senior sex to clinicians, Department of Psychiatry Grand Rounds, Kaiser Permanente Santa Rosa. What did her Naked at Our Age  interviewees, age 50-80+, express about their changing sexual needs, problems, and fears? Joan will identify the five major sexual concerns that seniors may be reluctant to share with their medical providers, yet that impact their health and quality of life. We'll formulate practical questions that will elicit essential sexual information, and discuss resources.

May 30, 2013Audies Awards Gala, New York City. The Audible.com audiobook edition of Naked at Our Age, read by Suzanne Toren, is a finalist for an Audie (the Oscars of audiobooks) in the Personal Development category!

May 18, 2013 10 am -12:30 pm, “Ask Me, I'll Tell You: Women and Men Talk Out Loud about Sex and Aging for couples and singles. At Kama Sutra Closet,  451 E. Main Street, #6, Ventura, CA 93001. [see recent listing for details of this workshop.]

May 18, 2013, 1-4 pm, “Never Too Late! 5 Best Tips for Dating at Our Age” for singles. At Kama Sutra Closet,  451 E. Main Street, #6, Ventura, CA 93001. Joan Price gives us the new rules of dating at our age and tips for finding that special person. Her upbeat presentation will make you laugh and send you home with new hope -- and a new plan!


May 19, 2013, 2-4:30 pm : “Sex after 50” at The Pleasure Chest, 7733 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA 90046. [see recent listing for details of this workshop.]

May 20, 2013, 9-10:30 am: staff training at The Pleasure Chest, 7733 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA 90046.

May 20, 2013, 6-8 pm: “The Five Biggest Myths about Sex and Aging” at The Pleasure Chest, 7733 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA 90046. : Joan Price shatters the myths and shares the most common questions that Boomers, seniors, and elders ask her. You’ll be surprised! Yes, she’ll answer those questions, too -- in the candid, upbeat manner that led the media to dub her “senior sexpert.”


May 5, 2013, 4 pm,  Center for Sex and Culture1349 Mission St., San Francisco CA (between 9th and 10th ). What would it look like if talented writers over age 50 wrote erotica featuring steamy, sexy characters who were also over 50? Ageless Erotica is a ground-breaking anthology of erotic short stories and memoir essays presenting women and men, couples and singles, straight and gay, who are over 50, 60, 70, and beyond – all enjoying and sharing their erotic moments. Contributors Dale Chase, Linda Poelzl, Dorothy Freed, Donna George Storey, and Susan St. Aubin join Joan Price, Ageless Erotica editor, reading excerpts and discussing the idea of "senior erotica."




Apr. 23, 2013, 6-8 pm: Sex after 50. Workshop with Joan Price at The Pleasure Chest, 156 Seventh Avenue South, New York, NY 10014. [see recent listing for details of this workshop.]


Apr. 24, 2013, 6-7:30 pm. “The 5 Biggest Myths about Sex and Aging.” Joan Price speaks at Senior Planet Exploration Center, 127 W. 25th Street, New York, NY 10001, between 6th and 7th Avenues. [see recent listing for details of this workshop.] 


April 27, 2013, Joan Price is a panelist in "So You Want to Write for Huffington Post" at Fire Up Your Writing Career, April 25-27, 2013, the annual conference of  the American Society of Journalists and Authors, Roosevelt Hotel, New York City.


Apr. 27, 2013, 7 pm, Bluestockings bookstore, fair trade cafe, and activist center, 172 Allen Street between Stanton and Rivington, New York, NY 10002. What happens when writers over 50 write steamy senior erotica? Ageless Erotica is a ground-breaking anthology of erotic short stories and memoir essays featuring sexy characters over 50, 60, 70 and beyond – straight, gay, partnered, solo -- written by well-seasoned erotica writers. D.L. King, Tsaurah Litzky, Rae Padilla Francoeur, Audrienne Roberts Womack, Erobintica (Robin Sampson), Nancy Weber, Erica Manfred, and Joan Price read excerpts from Ageless Erotica and discuss the idea of “senior erotica.” Free!

April 14, 2013, 2 pm - 5 pm: Sex after Fifty: A Workshop for Women at Good Vibrations, 1620 Polk Street (at Sacramento Street) San Francisco, CA 94109. [see recent listing for details of this workshop.]

March 15-17, 2013: Joan Price speaks on Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex at CatalystConEast at Crystal City Marriott at Reagan Airport,1999 Jefferson Davis Highway, Arlington, Virginia 22202. Joan Price shares her spicy and often humorous experiences as an advocate for senior sexuality. She talks frankly about the most interesting, surprising, and provocative questions and concerns that seniors raise about their sexuality, along with the special challenges and satisfactions of blogging/talking/writing about senior sex.